Chapter 4: Jumpy and Bumpy

 It wasn’t easy, but you did it – sitting on some broken furniture in the ruined gray throne room, you beat the Queen at 3D Tic-Tac-Toe. Your four X’s hang humming in the air, and suddenly the whole floating, glowing cube retracts into the Queen’s eyes, and she jumps with a sort of energy pulse. She blinks her eyes, takes a deep breath, and speaks. “Thank you,” she says in a dry whisper. “I am indebted to you, Player.”

“What about me?” asks Melvin, “You can’t play Tic-Tac-Toe without a cursor!”

The Queen smiles. “I am indebted to you as well, little missile.”

Melvin seems to blush. “Anything for my Queen! But Queen, what happened here? How could all this happen overnight?”

The Queen looks troubled. “Oh, little missile, I wish I knew how this happened. Unfortunately, something isn’t right with my memory. But you can see,” she says, gesturing to the empty alcoves on the cracked wall behind her, “the twenty-six treasures that give our kingdom its power are gone, each and every one.”

You look around and see there are twenty-six alcoves of various sizes and shapes, and each one is empty, except for dust and rubble. Melvin flies around, inspecting each one, just in case.

The Queen continues: “If this could happen to the castle, I worry that the entire kingdom could fall. You see how gray my rainbow castle has become. Is it this gray everywhere?”

“No, my Queen, it is not,” says Melvin. “The valley is gray, but over the hills, everything is in full color,” he explains, trying to lift her spirits.

“I fear that may not continue. Without the treasures here, the grayness may spread, and eventually, our entire land may fade away.”

“We will not let that happen, my Queen!” exclaims Melvin. “Just tell us where the treasures went, and we will go get them!”

She sighs. “That’s the trouble. Without the treasures, my memory doesn’t work properly. Before we played tic-tac-toe, I couldn’t even remember how to speak. I don’t know what happened, or where the treasures have gone.”

“Concentrate, my Queen,” says Melvin. “Can’t you remember anything?”

She closes her eyes and puts a hand to her forehead. “No,” she says. “Sadly, I cannot.”

“Try once more,” says Melvin, “maybe we can help.” She closes her eyes again, in deep concentration. Melvin zips to your ear and whispers, “Whistle – now!” You take out the whistle, cover the hole, and blow. Again, a brief pulse of color, and the Queen gasps as it passes over her. “The crown!” she exclaims. “I… remember the golden crown. It was… stolen. Yes, that’s right! The treasures were stolen!”

Melvin is angry now. “Who stole them? I’ll teach them to steal from my Queen!”

The Queen concentrates again. “I… remember… a gray bat. Yes… I can see, in my mind, a gray bat carrying off the golden crown. It was the one of the last treasures, and I remember thinking that with that lost, there would be no hope.”

Melvin looks at you. “Bats are always stealing things. But a gray bat? Bats aren’t gray… they’re black.”

The Queen shakes her head sadly.

“A gray bat,” repeats Melvin, thinking. “The only gray bats are… cave bats! And they only live in one place! The caves on top of Spike’s Peak!”

“I… will have to believe you,” says the Queen. “I remember so little now, I realize I don’t even know my own kingdom. Do you really believe you could find the crown?”

“You can count on us, your majesty,” says Melvin, proudly, with a bow. “My Player and I will be back with it in two shakes of a phosphor beam.”

“You are both very brave. I will rest, and meditate. If you can find the crown, it may give me enough memory to remember how this happened.”

“Farewell, my Queen!” says Melvin, and zips toward the hole by which you entered. “Come on, Player! We’ve got a quest!” You follow Melvin out, slightly nervous about leaving the Queen behind in the ruined castle. He starts heading south. “This is great!” he says happily. “We’re going to save the kingdom!”

“Melvin!” You shout. “I did not sign up for this! We went to see the Queen so I could go home, remember?”

“Yeah, I know,” says Melvin, “but she can’t even remember her own name right now. How is she going to get you home if she has amnesia? Our only hope is to find the crown and get her memory back.”

You sigh. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. So… you said it’s in a cave? Is it around here somewhere?”

“Um, not exactly,” says Melvin, “it’ll be a bit of a trip.”

“How far a walk is it?”

“It’s a bit farther than that, it’ll be a road trip.”

“A road trip? I didn’t know you had roads here. Do you have a car?”

“No,” says Melvin, “but don’t worry, I know a guy.”

You bid the Queen adieu, and soon you are out of the gray valley and things have color again. There are city streets, and buildings. Before you know it, you’ve arrived at a large parking lot, filled with every kind of vehicle you could imagine. Trucks, motorcycles, helicopters, submarines, spaceships, and cars. Lots and lots of cars.

A peculiar robot, with a tall hat and a big smile rolls up to you on a single wheel, like a unicycle. “Melvin!” he says with a bright but raspy voice. “Great to see you! And who’s your friend?”

“This is my Player. We’re on a quest.”

The robot seems startled but keeps smiling. His robot claw grabs your hand and starts pumping it with a used car salesman handshake, which makes sense, because that’s what he seems to be. “Victor Hickle’s the name, transport’s my game,” he says. You see a banner hanging overhead that reads “V. Hickle’s Vehicles.”

“So, Player, what kind of ride you do need? Airplane? Spaceship? Maybe a subterrene?” he says, waggling his mechanical eyebrows.

You look to Melvin for help, and he speaks up. “We need a car, Vic. Something with good shocks, and maybe armor. We have to head up Bump and Jump Highway on the Winterspring Islands to get to Spike’s Peak.”

“Bump and Jump Highway?” Vic asks, alarmed. “You’ll need a pretty special ride for that. The traffic has become terrible. It’s full of dump trucks, tractors, race cars, and those crazy skullmobiles the kids are all driving these days. But… don’t worry! I’ve got just the thing! Let’s see… right over here…” You walk by a Sherman tank, a blue racecar with feathered wings, some kind of doghouse all shot up with bullet holes, and finally stop at a red racecar.

“Isn’t she a beaut?” asks Vic, with a big smile, rolling back and forth on his one wheel. “Tough as nails, and can go up to 220 miles an hour. And she just had her jump charger repressurized.”

“Jump charger?” you ask, concerned. “What’s a jump charger?”

“For super high jumping!” says Vic. “I’ve seen this little baby go two, three hundred feet in the air.”

“Who needs that? We’re just driving on a highway!”

“We do,” explains Melvin, “Here’s the thing: Spike’s Peak is on an island. What we call Bump and Jump Highway is more like a series of roads on the Winterspring Island chain. If you’ve got a jump charger, you can usually make it from one island to the next when the road runs out.”

“Usually?” you ask, alarmed.

“Yes,” says Vic. “If you’re going fast enough. Never jump if you are going less than a hundred miles an hour. But don’t worry, this little baby can go twice that.”

You are freaking out. “This is insane! Why don’t we just take a boat?”

Melvin whispers, “We can’t afford a boat.”

“Well, how are we going to afford a car?” You shout. “I don’t have any money!”

Vic’s smile tightens. “How are you going to pay?”

Melvin draws himself up. “We are on a mission from Queen Stella. Surely, given the circumstances, you will loan us the car.”

Vic stops smiling. “Queen who?”

Melvin is aghast. “Our dear Queen Stella! Monarch of the Rainbow Castle, Conqueror of the Cruel Lord Tyrannus and the Evil Wizard Konjuro! Who do you think?”

Vic smiles again. “Ha, ha, Melvin, you are always such a kidder. I’ll admit that my memory has been a bit faded lately, but I’m sure I’d remember a Queen who lives in a rainbow castle. I’ll ask again: how are you two planning on paying?”

“I can’t believe it,” says Melvin. “It’s like the whole world’s gone crazy.”

“Crazy for great deals!” says Vic enthusiastically. “Even if you don’t have money right now, I’m sure your little quest will make you rich, and you can pay me later, on very reasonable terms."

“That’s more like it!” says Melvin.

“I’ll just need some collateral,” says Vic with a grin so tight you are worried he might bend his metal jaw.

Melvin looks at you. “Don’t look at me,” you say. “I don’t have anything but a whistle and reset button.”

Vic’s smile gets bigger. “Did you say a whistle? Is that a Player whistle by any chance?”

“Vic, you can’t take the Player’s whistle. What if the Player needs to call me?”

“Why would that happen?” grins Vic. “You’ll be together the whole time. And besides, when you come back with your treasure, I’ll sell the whistle back to you.”

Melvin looks at you uncertainly.

“Is this a good idea?” you whisper.

“No,” replies Melvin, “but I don’t see what choice we have. It’s for the Queen.”

“For the Queen,” you sigh, and hold out the red whistle to Vic.

His robot hand snatches it greedily and speedily, dropping it into a chamber in his stomach panel. His eyes literally turn to dollar signs for a moment as he says in a recorded sounding voice, “You won’t regret this, it’s a great car!”

You and Melvin get into the shaky red racecar. As you drive away, incredibly annoying music comes from the radio. Melvin flips a switch, strangely labeled “Color/BW” then turns it off. “I couldn’t listen to that for eight highways.”

You pass a sign that reads “Road #01”, and drive on, towards the ocean. In the far distance, several islands away, you see a snow peaked mountain rising from the ocean that stretches high into the sky.

Place the Bump and Jump cartridge into your Atari 2600. Play until you reach Road #09. Post a link to a video in the comments section of yourself completing the challenge.