Chapter 39: The Master of the Stars

KA-POW! The final saucer of the six invading fleets is blown into fragments by your photon blast. A triumphant digital fanfare sounds throughout the mothership, and the radar screen is all clear. “YAHOO!” shouts Melvin. “M-Network be praised,” says the Administrator, with a sigh of relief.

Slightly dizzy from tracking all those saucers and dodging all that saucer fire, not to mention looking at those pulsing rainbow stars, you rub your eyes, and stagger away from the console. The Administrator pushes a button, and the screen and console retract into the floor, and the tri-colored seal of the League closes back over it.

“So, are we safe?” asks Melvin?

The Administrator looks at various screens and printouts. “It seems that way. I don’t know who they were, or why they attacked us, but that seems to be last of them. Nonetheless, as soon as the jump engines are charged, we will depart this perilous universe.”

You stare out at the weird throb of the rainbow stars. “So… what do we do now?”

“During our difficulties, more requests for help have come in.” says the Administrator, peering at a printout.

“Anything from Solaris?” says Melvin excitedly.

The Administrator ignores him. “Specifically, there is one from the Star Masters, which, given your elevated rank with the Star Raiders, you should be eligible for.”

Melvin is frustrated, and whirls around. “Come on! We just saved the Mothership! Send us to Solaris to get the Star Stone!”

The Administrator takes off his glasses with his tail, and rubs his face. “Things with Solaris are… not that simple.” The tail replaces the little glasses on his nose, and then polishes them with a small green cloth. “However, the Star Masters need you now. It is a challenging mission. Are you willing to go?”

“How is it different than what we did for the Star Raiders?” asks Melvin.

“It’s… well…” the Administrator takes on a conspiratorial whisper. “It’s very similar. But… the Star Masters have a tendency toward the… dramatic.”

“Well,” says Melvin, “if it gets us closer to Solaris, I say we do it! Are you ready, Player?”

Your eyes are still bleary from the saucer attack. “Can’t I sit down for a little bit? All this Space Hero stuff is pretty exhausting.”

“Ah, you’re in luck,” says the Administrator. “The Star Masters require an elaborate orientation for all new recruits. I’m sure you can rest there.” The Administrator pushes a button, and suddenly the lights dim, and a spotlight shines down upon a pair of blue and white doors on one side of the hall. “Wow, dramatic,” says Melvin. “Yes,” agrees the Administrator with a sigh. “Why they can’t just have simple space battles like everyone else, I’ll never understand.”

You approach the massive doors, and a voice booms out, “A CRITICAL AND DIFFICULT MISSION AWAITS YOU. YOU MUST POSSESS A DETERMINATION, SKILL, SENSITIVITY AND POWER BEYOND THE ORDINARY TO PERFORM YOUR MISSION QUICKLY AND EFFICIENTLY.”

After a pause, you and Melvin look at each other. “Uh, okay, can we come in?” you ask.

The voice booms again, “TO SENSE DANGER, TO BE CALM IN THE FACE OF CRISES, TO MOVE FROM POWER TO FINESSE WITH EQUAL PROFICIENCY, TO BE THE MASTER OF YOUR SHIP AND YOUR GALAXY – THIS IS THE CHALLENGE. THIS IS THE POWER OF STARMASTER™.”

Melvin looks at you. “It’s weird that it said the ™.”

“RECRUIT, ARE YOU PREPARED FOR INSTRUCTION IN THE WAYS OF ADVANCED SPACE COMBAT?”

“Uh, sure?” you say.

With a great creak the doors swing open slowly, leading to a dramatically lit hallway. On either side of the hall are elaborate engravings of space battles. You walk past them toward another set of giant doors with huge letters reading “STUDY. MASTER. BELIEVE. THE POWER CAN BE YOURS.” As you approach the doors, they too swing open slowly, leading to hallway with engravings of circuit diagrams and computer interfaces. Another set of huge doors reads “BE ALERT. BE RESPONSIVE. BE SURE.” They too open at your approach, and the walls in the next section of hallway are portraits of dozens of pilots, men and women with serious looks and elaborate military decorations. Another set of doors reads, “CONCENTRATE, BUT DON’T HESITATE. BE PRECISE, BUT ACT QUICKLY.”

“How many more of these are there, you think?” whispers Melvin. You shush him, and these doors too swing open at your approach. Now the walls are carved with elaborate depictions of enemy starfighters that seem terrifying and threatening. The door reads “CONCENTRATE. CONTROL. MASTER.” Past that, you enter an area with depictions of bulbous starbases, with serious but smiling crew saluting from their windows. The doors here say “BE QUICK. BE SURE. MASTER THE POWER.”

“Come on,” says Melvin. “When is the ‘sitting down’ part, do you think?”

These last doors open onto a tremendous auditorium with hundreds of seats. “Finally,” says Melvin. It isn’t clear where to go, so you walk down the aisle a ways, and take two seats, somewhere in the middle. Melvin doesn’t sit, exactly, but, you know.

The lights dim, and digital trumpets blast, making you both jump. A sudden spotlight reveals a man wearing blue robes with white trim who shouts “RECRUITS! ARE YOU PREPARED TO TRAIN FOR THE MOST ELITE FIGHTING FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE?” and you recognize his voice as the one from the hallway. He seems to be waiting for a response. You and Melvin look at each other. He continues to wait.

“Uh, sure?” you volunteer.

Melvin breaks in. “Do you mean the Solaris Starcruisers? I thought they were the most elite.”

The man on stage ignores this. “PREPARE TO BE AWED BY A GLIMPSE OF YOUR STARFIGHTER, A VESSEL UNLIKE ANY OTHER!” Suddenly, a huge 3D projection of a rotating spaceship appears high over the auditorium. Melvin says, “That looks just like the Star Raiders ship… just blue and white, instead of blue and yellow.”

The instructor booms back “OUR SHIPS ARE NOTHING LIKE THE STAR RAIDERS SHIPS! OURS ARE EQUIPPED WITH MACC, THE MISSION / ATTACK CONTROL COMPUTER!” 3D holograms of an elaborate computer systems appear in the air above you.

“Aw, that’s just like the Atari Force Attack Computer. Next you’ll be bragging about your galactic map.”

“THE STAR MASTERS HAVE NO NEED OF GALACTIC MAPS,” he thunders. “WE USE A GALACTIC CHART, UNIQUE IN ALL THE MULTIVERSE.” A grid with dots and spaceships appears above.

“Oh, yeah,” says Melvin. “Really unique. It’s got 36 quadrants, just like the Terran ship.”

“THEY ARE SECTORS, NOT QUADRANTS,” he says. “COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!”

“Okay, let me guess,” says Melvin. “Now you are going to tell us about warp travel, and getting repaired and refueled at starbases.”

He pauses. “WELL… YES. BUT! OUR STARBASES ARE UNLIKE ANY OTHERS!”

“How?” asks Melvin.

“THEIR ELLIPTICAL ORBIT MEANS DOCKING AT THEM REQUIRES CAREFUL PILOTING! IT IS ONE OF THE MOST SENSITIVE MANEUVERS YOU WILL MAKE!”

“That sounds super annoying,” says Melvin. “Does that have any advantage at all?”

“ELLIPTICAL ORBITS ARE DESIGNED TO KEEP THE STARBASES SAFE FROM ENEMY ATTACKERS.”

“Oh,” reflects Melvin, “that actually sounds very helpful. So, the starbases can’t be destroyed by enemies?”

“ACTUALLY, THEY ARE DESTROYED QUITE FREQUENTLY. THAT IS PART OF THE CHALLENGE OF STARMASTER!”

Melvin puts his head in his hands, not that he has either of those. “So… pretty much, being a Star Master is just like being a Star Raider.”

The man on stage is silent, and seems to be thinking. “WE HAVE… WAIT, NO, THAT’S THE SAME. WE DO HAVE FEWER BUTTONS.” He thinks again. “OH! I KNOW. INSTEAD OF TWIN PHOTON TORPEDOS, WE HAVE TWIN LASER CANNONS.” A hologram shows two laser blasts vaporizing an enemy in a violent red flashing explosion.

“Ooooooo…” says Melvin, genuinely impressed. “Okay, that is a real improvement,” he says. He looks at you. “Shooting those Star Raiders photon torpedoes feels like throwing little balls of tinfoil.”

“Yeah,” you add. “And aiming them is almost impossible.”

“Okay,” says Melvin. “We’ve heard enough. We’ll do the mission.”

“BUT I HAVE SIX MORE HOURS OF LECTURE MATERIAL PREPARED.”

Melvin starts floating over to the airlock door to the far left of the auditorium. “No, we’re good. Put the rest in a booklet.” You crab walk between the seats to follow Melvin to the ship.

“HOW ABOUT TWO BOOKLETS?”

“Whatever,” says Melvin. You open the airlock valve, revealing a room identical to the Star Raiders spaceport, with a blue and white starfighter ready to go. You climb into the familiar ship, and peer at the simple controls. “Melvin, where is the switch for the galactic map… or chart… or whatever?” Everything flashes white, and you find yourself hurtling through space, bright white stars whizzing past you, not a rainbow one to be seen.

“It’s that one,” says Melvin, gesturing at a switch that inexplicably says “Color/BW.”

You flip it and see that there are dozens of enemies all through the galaxy. “Yeesh, Melvin. This might be familiar, but it won’t be easy!”

Place the Starmaster cartridge into your Atari 2600. Set difficulty switches to b. Use game select to choose level “S:” for Starmaster. Play until the victory trumpet sounds. Post a link to a video in the comments section of yourself completing the challenge.