Chapter 71: Down in the Mouth

Panting, and bruised by tiny bricks, you make it through the colorful maze/racetrack and cross the checkered finish line. The Doctor, who seems to be out of bricks, peers down at you, frantically scribbling notes in his notebook. “Fascinating!” he says. “This specimen is fast and agile.”

“Yes,” agrees Melvin, “but how can you turn them human again?”

The nasal voice crackles again over the loudspeaker. “Doctor, your patient can’t wait any longer! His mouth is infested with the worst case of Snack Attacker I’ve ever seen!”

The Doctor ignores this, and consoles Melvin. “Don’t worry about the Player, I know just what to do!” He pulls out an eyedropper, and bends down over you. “Open wide, little buggy!” Eager to get medicine that will return you to normal, you open up your dragonfly mouth, and swallow a huge drop of an evil tasting fluid. Immediately, you start changing. Your wheels and bug legs disappear, and you now have arms! And legs! And a face! Are you human again? You must be! But from the horrified look on Melvin’s face, not that he has a face, you can tell that something isn’t right. You look down to realize… you don’t have a body! Just little green arms and legs coming out of a big green head! But… “big” is the wrong word! You are even smaller than before! “Gaaah!” you shout, in a tiny, squeaky voice. “What you have you done!”

“Player! You can talk!” says Melvin excitedly, but then concerned, “But… I think you’re a frog again?”

The Doctor is all smiles. “That’s not a frog! That’s a… LIZARD! I’m going to call you ‘Lizzie!’ This is perfect… perfect!” he shouts, scooping you up, and racing out of the room, up the stairs.

“I don’t like the name Lizzie!” you shout from inside his cupped hands as he bounds up the stairs.

 “Wait for me,” shouts Melvin, zipping after him.

You find yourself in a dentist’s office where really annoying digital music is playing, and the Doctor puts you down on a white tray. The various picks, drills, and other dentist tools are terrifying at such a large size. There is a patient in the chair, and an impatient nurse stands nearby, looking irritated. You realize she must have been the one on the loudspeaker. The Doctor is poking around in the patient’s mouth. Melvin flies in, panting. “What… are you going to do now?”

“Don’t worry!” says the smiling Doctor. “I know just what to do!” With a pair of tweezers, he hands you a tiny disc. You hold it, like a sort of a shield, wondering what it is for. Then, to your horror, he picks you up with the tweezers, and drops you into the patient’s mouth!

“Gaaah!” shouts Melvin. “Did you feed the Player to your patient?”

“No… don’t be silly,” says the doctor. “You see, tiny lizards are perfect for dental work! They can hold dental shields with their tiny hands, and their feet don’t slip when standing on your tongue!” He frowns. “But real lizards are too hard to train. Believe me, I’ve tried!” He grins excitedly now.

“But why did the Player turn into a lizard?” asks Melvin.

“Because lizards eat dragonflies! See? Fear plus toxins causes transmutation!” says the Doctor “And with human intelligence in a lizard body, and that makes them the perfect Tooth Protector, and now they can do my dental work for me!”

Melvin is upset. “I don’t care about your dental work! We need to save the kingdom! Besides,” he says, peering down into the patient’s mouth, “it looks dangerous in there.”

You are standing on the patient’s tongue, and are worried that Melvin is right. Something is lurking in the darkness of this giant mouth… you see weird forms lurking in the shadows behind the molars.

The Doctor laughs. “Don’t worry! The Player has the shield. And besides, look at that big smile!” It hasn’t escaped your notice that your weird green face has a permanent smile, even though you are terrified. The Doctor’s face looms large over the patient’s mouth. “Player, the Snack Attackers will attack the teeth with cubes!”

“Cubes?” you call back.

“Yes, cubes! You know, kind of like tiny bricks.” says the Doctor. “Use the shield to protect the teeth! If the teeth start to decay, press the red action button on the shield, and my nurse will help you out. Oh! And remember, if the Snack Attackers start humming, go hide behind a molar or something, because they’re coming for you.”

“But what are you going to do to turn the Player human again?” asks Melvin. “If the player gets any smaller, they’ll be gone!”

The Doctor rubs his huge red chin. “Yes… I’ve noticed that. I have a special ray that makes some animals get bigger. Maybe if I use it on the Player, they’ll turn human again when they get human sized?” He claps his hands and rubs them together. “Well! It’s worth a try! Melvin, follow me, and we’ll get the enlarging ray working. Patient, open wide. No, wider! Good! Player, fight those Snack Attackers! Nurse, be ready with brush, floss, and rinse!” He marches determinedly back towards his basement lab. Melvin lags behind, and calls down to you. “Good luck in there… we’ll get you back to normal somehow!” and reluctantly chases after the Doctor.

With the Doctor gone, the Snack Attackers start to emerge from out of the shadows… you hold up your shield, and hope for the best!

Place the Tooth Protectors cartridge into your Atari 2600. Use game select 1, and play until you score 120,000 points. Post a link to a video in the comments section of yourself completing the challenge.