“Oh yeah…” you say, panting, as you collapse to your knees. All that running in the Kool-Aid Man costume has you sweaty and exhausted. But the thirsties seem to have fled the scene. Melvin flies up to you, and you gasp out, “I’m… so… thirsty…”
“Well, don’t drink from the swimming pool, it’s not
sanitary,” says Melvin. “Also, it’s mostly empty.”
You are getting dizzy, and wondering if you might pass out.
“Hey, why not drink from your costume?” says Melvin.
Oh yeah… you are running around in a giant pitcher full of
Kool-Aid! How did you not think of that? You carefully tip yourself to one
side, and fill a nearby glass with red Kool-Aid, and greedily drink it down.
You’re feeling better already. “Hey, Melvin, this stuff isn’t bad.”
Melvin laughs. “Glad you think so, since you appear to be
the mascot for it! Also, your tongue is so red right now.”
You stick out your tongue and try to look at it, as you head
back to the dressing room. Gary is there, all smiles. “Great job, Player! We
got some amazing footage of you chasing down the Thirsties! I’ve already sent
samples to SJ, and the pilot is a wrap! She likes it so much that ‘Dine and
Dash’ is approved for a full season – ten episodes!”
“WOOHOO!” shouts Melvin.
You are less excited. “Wait a minute – so, I have to do
racing and cooking challenges for a whole season?”
“Absolutely!” says Gary excitedly. “That is, if you want to
win those treasures!”
You sigh. “Well, okay, if this is the only way to do it…”
Gary slaps you on the back of your pitcher. “That’s the
spirit! Now, I need you to get ready to film the next episode!”
“What, now?” you say, surprised.
“Yes, right away! We need to finish the whole season by the
end of this week!”
“This week!”
“You got it,” says Gary, “otherwise they pull our funding.
Ready to get back in the racecar? I already have your next challenge lined up!”
“I can’t race in this!” you say, gesturing to your Kool-Aid
Man costume.
“Well then,” says Gary smiling, “let me be a photographer
and…”
“Don’t say it, Gary!” says Melvin.
“Take your pitcher!” says Gary, chuckling. “Sorry, a little
Kool-Aid humor there.”
Grumbling, you climb out of the Kool-Aid costume, and back
into your racing outfit.
“Wait’ll you see the race I have lined up for you next,”
says Gary excitedly.
“What, do I have to race against 100 cars this time?” you
ask.
“Ha, no!” says Gary. “Only two! But it’ll be a race you
won’t forget! Meet me outside when you are ready!” he says, gleefully heading
out the door.
You drink some more Kool-Aid, as it is starting to grow on
you. “Two cars? Melvin, do you know what he is talking about?”
Melvin seems to be pondering something. “I… don’t know,
player. I can’t think of a race where you only go up against two cars.” He
freezes. “Unless…” he says, with fear in his voice. Suddenly he zips out of the
dressing room into the hallway. “OH NO!” you hear him shout. You run after him.
He seems to be flying around, in a blind panic, looking at the other dressing
room doors. “NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!” he shouts.
“Melvin, what is it?” you ask, confused, but he continues to
fly up and down the hallway shouting, eventually banging his head, not that he
has a head, on the wall, shouting “NO! NO! NO!”
You look at the dressing room doors to see what has got him
so upset. One reads “Crashin’ Clyde,” and the other reads “Smashin’ Sam.”
Clyde’s door bursts open, and a curly-haired man wearing a newsboy cap and some
old-fashioned racing goggles storms out, puffing on a small cigar. “What’s all
the noise out here?” he hisses angrily. “Keep it quiet, or you’ll wake up Sam!”
You stare at him blankly. “Sam?” you ask, uncertainly.
“Yeah,” he says, fixing you with an angry stare. “Sam likes
to sleep 'til the third race.” He raises a fist. “Now, keep it down, or I’ll
smash you myself!”
“Sorry, sorry,” you say, backing away. Melvin seems
oblivious, just lying on the floor saying “no… no… no…”
You scoop him up, and carry him back into your dressing
room, leaving Clyde glaring in the hallway, chewing his cigar.
You splash Melvin with some Kool-Aid, and he starts to come
out of his trance.
“Melvin!” you bark. “What is your problem?”
Melvin’s eyes, not that he has any, open wide. “Player,” he
says, unusually serious, “this will be the greatest challenge you have faced so
far. I have watched others… lose their sanity, trying to do what you are about
to do.”
“What are you talking about, Melvin? It’s just a car race!”
“Yes… that’s… what they always say. ‘It’s just a car race,
how hard can it be?’ Well, I’ll tell you. I’ve seen players go insane trying to
win this race. Clyde and Sam are… relentless and cruel. The main thing you will
need is… oil.”
“Oil? For the racecar?”
“For the reset button. You will push it… a lot.”
“Melvin,” you say, “don’t worry. You and I have been through
a lot. We can do this, too. How many races do we have to win?”
“Fifteen,” says Melvin, grimly. “Fifteen races, where your
car picks up every item on the track, and you don’t crash, even one time. Your
driving must be… perfect.”
“Come on, Melvin, we can do it. We set the record in Street
Racer, we can do this.” You start heading toward the door. Melvin stays put.
“You’re not going to make me do this alone, are you?”
Melvin sighs. “I… can’t. I’ve seen… too many players…
destroyed by this race.”
“Melvin,” you say. “We have to do this. For the Queen.”
Melvin freezes, then hangs his head, and sighs. “You… got
me. Let’s go… quickly… before I change my mind.”
You scoop Melvin up, and head out to your orange racecar,
that Gary has all warmed up and ready to go. As you get in, Gary says, “Hey,
great news! I got Kool-Aid to sponsor the race, too! So – your car will be
picking up Kool-Aid packets! That’s why they’re red! Isn’t that great?”
“Yeah, sure, great, Gary,” you say, rolling your eyes a
little, but also wondering how your orange racecar is going to pick things up…
but you see it has a scoop mounted on the front now. On the other side of the
track, you see Clyde looking menacing in his blue car. “Just racing against one
other car to pick up some Kool-Aid Packets?” you think. “How hard can this be?”
Place the Dodge ‘Em
cartridge into your Atari 2600. Use game select 1. Set both difficulty switches
to b. Play until you get 1,080 points. Post a link to a video in the comments
section of yourself completing the challenge.