Your fingers are clinging to the steering wheel with a steely death grip, your eyes are bulging, and you are hyperventilating. But... the race is over. Your orange racecar is full of hundreds of Kool-Aid packets… but… the race is over. Melvin is screaming with joy. “YOU DID IT! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID IT!”
Gary opens the door of your car, and Kool-Aid packets spill
everywhere. “That was some great racing! A perfect way to start our second
episode!” You hear what he says, but it sounds very far away to you. Your eyes
just keep staring, and your fingers can’t let go of the wheel. “Uh… are you
alright?” asks Melvin. But you can’t stop hyperventilating.
“Is the Player okay?” asks Gary, looking concerned, “Because
we really need to shoot the second part of this episode.”
“I know what to do,” says Melvin, gesturing to a pitcher of
Kool-Aid on a nearby table. At Melvin’s prompting, Gary splashes it in your
face, and suddenly you snap out of it.
“Sorry about that,” says Gary, handing you a towel.
“It’s… okay…” you say, wiping the red Kool-Aid from your
face as you stiffly climb out of the car. You are surrounded by cheering fans,
but you barely notice them. “Melvin,” you say quietly, “let’s not do that
again.”
“I know,” says Melvin. “That was a nightmare. But it’s over!
You did it!” Gary hands you a celebratory racing jacket with a “1080” on the
back, which you put on for some photographs. “Okay,” says Gary. “Now it’s time
for the second part of the episode!”
“Please, no more Kool-Aid,” pleads Melvin.
Gary laughs. “No problemo… but how do you feel about…
Mountain Dew?!” he exclaims.
You and Melvin both make a face. “Eww...” you say, “nobody
likes Mountain Dew.”
“Quiet!” says Gary, in a loud whisper. “They’re our new
sponsor! Don’t let them hear you say that!”
“I don’t have to drink a bunch of Mountain Dew for this
episode, do I?” you ask nervously.
“No, no,” says Gary. “You serve it. Like a bartender!”
“A bartender?” you say, surprised. “I thought I was supposed
to be a chef? And… won’t this encourage drinking and driving?”
“That’s why it’s Mountain Dew!” says Gary. “Here, put this
on,” he hands you a costume that comes complete with a wig and a handlebar
mustache.
“What kind of bartender serves Mountain Dew?” you wonder to
yourself, as you head to the dressing room.
When you get there, you put on the bartender uniform, and
even the mustache, and take a look at yourself in the mirror.
“Wow!” says Melvin. “That’s pretty snappy looking. I’d never
recognize you!”
“Hmm…” you say. “I do make a pretty good-looking bartender
at that.”
Gary comes in. “Hey, Player, looking good! Are you ready to
start?”
“Maybe?” you say. “I… don’t know a lot about fixing drinks.”
“Don’t worry!” says Gary. “All you do is fill mugs with soda
pop, and slide them down to the customers. It should be easy!”
“I’m glad to hear that,” you say, relieved. “I mean, after
that Dodge ‘Em course, I need something easy and relaxing.”
“Great!” says Gary, “Let’s head to the first bar!” as he
leads you out the door.
“The… first bar?” you ask.
You start walking down the street, and see a camera crew set
up in front of a country western bar a little ways down the block. “Right,”
says Gary. “You’ll work four different bars tonight. First this country western
place, then a sports bar, then a punk rock bar, and finally, a bar for aliens.”
“Illegal aliens?” asks Melvin.
“No, no,” says Gary. “Space aliens.”
You contemplate this, and Melvin asks, “How can you tell the
punks from the space aliens?”
Gary says, “Yeah, it isn’t easy. The alien bar has more
neon. Anyway, we’re here.” You head in, and see four long bars, each with taps
and glasses at the end.
“This should be pretty easy,” you say, filling a mug with
Mountain Dew, and sliding it down to a customer.
“Sure it is,” says Gary, smiling. “Just don’t let any
glasses fall on the floor, and… don’t let the customers near you, or they’ll
throw you out.”
“What?” you say, concerned. “Why?”
“They’re just… like that,” says Gary. “Oh… and watch out for
the Soda Bandit.”
“The what?” asks Melvin.
“The less said about him the better. Anyway, you’ll see,”
says Gary. He turns to the camera crew. “Okay, action!” calls Gary, and
stepping behind the crew.
You see more cowboys coming in, each a dark, solid color.
“What a bunch of colorful characters,” observes Melvin.
“They look like sour patch kids.”
You start dashing from bar to bar, trying to head off the
thirsty cowboys, who stare at you grimly as they march ever closer. “Melvin!”
you shout. “I don’t think this is going to be relaxing!”
“Maybe not,” agrees Melvin. “If you get tired, though, you
can always have a Mountain Dew.”
Place the Tapper
cartridge into your Atari 2600. Set both difficulty switches to b, and use game
select 1. Play until you score 40,000 points. Post a link to a video in the
comments section of yourself completing the challenge.