Chapter 45: Down for the Count

After what feels like an eternity of wandering a space labyrinth, constantly beset by deadly enemies, you finally set your warp sights on your goal: the planet Solaris.

“Why does it blink like that?” asks Melvin.

“It has to do with ions in their atmosphere. It’s kind of like your Aurora Borealis on Earth. I… haven’t been there since I was… young,” says the Administrator in a faraway voice.

“Here’s hoping we don’t find any surprises. Hit the button, Player!”

You press the WARP button, and once again try to keep the warp focus to zero as you rocket through a wormhole. Moments later, you find yourself coasting over a planet, with dozens of cadets on the surface.

“Look!” says Melvin. “They’re waving! We made it!”

Your finger reaches over to the LAND button, and the Administrator’s tail suddenly grabs your arm. “DON’T!” he shouts.

The ship has come to a stop and is hovering now. “Why not?” you ask, surprised.

He points. “Look at them! They aren’t waving!”

You look. He’s wrong, they are waving… but… there is something eerie about it. They all stand perfectly still… and each wave is exactly like the last.

“They are caught in a time loop,” says the Administrator. “The entire planet is a trap – that’s why it is unguarded. Anyone or anything that touches it will be caught in an infinite time loop, unable to escape.”

Melvin is irate. “So, after flying all this way, and battling every bad guy in the galaxy, we can’t land?! So what do we do? We can’t fly home, we’re in a… space knot, or whatever!”

The Administrator stares into space. “I haven’t seen the Starstone for a long time. But… if it is like I remember, we might have a chance.” He punches some keys on his console. “I’ve reprogrammed your scanner to home in on it. See if you can find it.”

You lean on the controls, and start flying past dozens, if not hundreds of creepy, looping space cadets.

“Look!” Shouts Melvin, “There it is!” You look up ahead, and down on the surface, you see a stone basin, and hovering above it is a glimmering sphere bathed in iridescent flames. “The Starstone!” shouts Melvin.

“So, do I land here?” you ask.

“No. If we land, we’re done for. Bring the ship as close as you can to the Stone, and see if you can get us to hover in place.”

You attempt the maneuver, and with some finessing, you park above the stone, and to one side. The Administrator hits a button, and the side door opens. You look down and see the flaming orb about fifteen feet below the ship. With the door open, the roar of the engines is loud. “How will we get it?” you shout above the noise. The Administrator braces himself, grabbing a safety handhold and digging his feet into the base of the seats. His long tail unfurls, and goes out the door. “Climb down my tail,” he shouts back. “And see if you can grab the orb.”

You look down at his slick green tail, dangling down next to the Starstone. “I’d get it for you, if I could,” shouts Melvin. “But… you know, incorporeal!”

Well, you think, here goes nothing. You grab hold of his tail, and lower yourself out the door. The Administrator grits his teeth, and braces himself. The tail, which always looked kind of scaly, feels warm and kind of rubbery, so you get a good grip on it, at first. But, as you climb down, the tail gets narrower, and as your hands slip a little you realize with terror and revulsion that the tail is starting to sweat. At the end is a sort of arrow head, like that of a bright green cartoon devil. You slip down but manage to stop by planting your feet on either side of it, and reach down to the orb, which hovers a few feet below you. “I can’t reach!” you shout back up to the ship, but you doubt they can hear you. You stretch a little farther, and to your horror, you slip, and fall face first down toward the sphere, your bent legs catching either side of his tail point at the last second. You now dangle like some otherworldly trapeze artist, the celestial sphere just below you. You reach down your hands, but it’s too far, you still can’t reach it. But then you feel the tail start to… stretch. You are getting closer, and closer, and with great effort, you grab it. Though it burns with a rainbow fire, it somehow feels cool to the touch. The stone basin is only another foot away, and you see, from your upside-down vantage point, the vacant expression of two looping, waving cadets just a short distance away, and you know that if you touch the basin, you’ll be as trapped as they are, because terrifyingly, the tail is still stretching. Melvin flies down and surveys your situation, flies back up and shouts, “Pull him up, Greeny! PULL!”

The stretching seems to stop, and you feel yourself being pulled up and up, the tail lifting you back up toward the ship. It wraps around you and flips you right-side up, and you tumble back in through the door.

The Administrator is still braced with his legs against the seats, and he his dripping in sweat, and seems to be unconscious. His tail hangs limply out the door. You set the Starstone to hover over your control panel, pull up his tail, and shut the door.

Melvin flies his glowing form back and forth before the Administrator’s closed eyes. “Wake up, Greeny! We did it!”

The Administrator blinks, and his eyes immediately go the Starstone, which has illuminated the dim cabin with a mesmerizing rainbow light. “It’s… as beautiful as I remembered,” he whispers. And then, wincing in pain, “Oh… my tail!” His limp, stretched, burned tail twitches around a little, but he doesn’t seem to have control over it. He seems like he might pass out again any second.

Melvin looks at you, “We’ve got the Starstone… but how can we get home to Queen Stella?” You look down at the planet. Nothing has changed – the citizens are still stuck in their time loop.

With great effort the Administrator reaches over and pushes a button on his console. Suddenly, a vast pulse of energy blasts out from the Starstone. The cadets on the surfaces start moving again. “Hey, look at this!” shouts Melvin excitedly, examining the galactic scanner. “No more star clusters! No more corridors! No more space pirates!” And he’s right – all you see is a fairly normal section of the galaxy.

Hoarsely, the Administrator explains, “I gave the stone the signal to restore things as they once were. We should be safe now. Set a course for the Mothership.”

“Aye, Aye, Captain!” says Melvin.

You chuckle and shake your head as you punch the WARP button for what you hope is the last time. Everything goes white, and when it fades, you are back in the Spaceport, which is… empty. You remember how the Mothership was about to collapse when you left, and you wonder if it is safe to be here. You don’t hear any alerts or alarms, so maybe that’s a good thing? You look back at the Administrator, who is still unconscious in the back seat. You look at Melvin. “What do we do? Leave him here?”

“I remember something about this,” says Melvin. “Touch the Starstone to his tail.”

You follow his suggestion, and lifting up the Starstone with both hands, you gingerly lower it down towards his tail. A tiny surge of energy seems to leap from the flaming ball to the end of his pointy tail, and with a gasp, he awakes. Immediately, his tail snaps back into action, dusting off his clothes as he jumps up. “What are you doing sitting here!” he exclaims. “We must see if the Mothership survived!” He scrambles out the door, and you and Melvin follow after him, you carrying the Starstone cautiously, with both hands. When you enter back into the great hall, you see to your surprise, Hero Jennifer sitting high up at the Administrator’s desk, working all kinds of buttons, switches, knobs, and levers. Occasionally, she squints at printouts and vast maps on the desk.

“How go things, Hero Jennifer?” asks the Administrator jovially.

She notices your entrance for the first time. “It’s not easy keeping this dump from falling apart,” she says. Her eyes bug out of her bright red face when she sees what you are carrying. “Holy crap, is that the Starstone?” she exclaims, and slides down the railing of the spiral staircase. She stares into its hypnotizing depths. “I grew up on Solaris, hearing stories about it my whole life. I never thought I’d… actually SEE it.” All of you stare reverently into its iridescent glow for a few long moments, until Melvin breaks the silence. “Come on, you guys, Queen Stella is waiting.”

You blink your eyes, and smile, feeling an overwhelming feeling of contentment, like waking from a wonderful dream. You see that Jennifer and the Administrator have the same look. The Administrator pats you on the back with his tail. “Player, you have indeed saved our galaxy, and possibly the entire universe. There will be more dangers, but be it known that from here on, Earth will always be an honored member of the League of Civilized Planets. He turns to Melvin. “The two of you are officially awarded the highest rank that a Player and missile may attain: Saviors of the League.”

“All right!” shouts Melvin.

“Hey!” says Jennifer. “What about our deal? Do I have Hero Class A again, or what?”

The Administrator shakes his head. “I’m afraid that’s impossible,” he says sadly.

Jennifer turns redder, if that’s possible, with fury. “WHAT? Do you know everything I did to keep this place from falling apart? I reprogrammed the shields with quantum flux shifting capability, repolarized the hull, worked the laser cannon myself, battled those stupid invaders that showed up FIVE MORE TIMES, the last time with a horrible thing that made the laser cannon twice as wide as normal so they could blow it up. And after all that, I’m STILL not Hero Class A?”

The Administrator shakes his head again. “Definitely not.”

She gets right up in his face. “And can you give me one good reason for that?”

He smiles wryly. “I can’t make you Hero Class A because that’s too lowly a title, Administrator Jennifer.”

Her mouth falls open. “Wait, what? The most senior position in the League? What about you?”

“Well,” he says to her, clapping you on the back, “These two here, and… maybe the Starstone, too, made me remember what it was like to fly missions. So, maybe it’s time for me to retire as Administrator.”

She laughs. “Well, I’m glad to hear that.”

“Why?”

“I’m pretty sure the Star Raiders need a new cook.”

There’s a long silence, and then, for the first time, you see the Administrator laugh out loud. He keeps laughing til he runs out of breath, and then starts laughing again.

Jennifer rolls her eyes. “Well, Player, I guess you did pretty well, though my sensors tell me you ripped the hell out of those seats.” She winks. “You better get out of here before I’m forced to write you up for vandalism.”

“Yeah,” says Melvin. “Come on!” and he starts heading back to the teleporter.

You want to shake her hand, or something, but she is high up at the desk you are afraid to let go of the Starstone, so you gesture awkwardly. “We… have to go. Thanks for all your help!” You head over to the teleporter, and when you look back, the last thing you see before everything fades to white is Greeny laughing uncontrollably, while Administrator Jennifer puts her fist to her chest, giving you a proper salute this time, the salute of the League.

Your return flight to Earth via Space Shuttle Discovery is without incident, and you and Melvin head briskly back from the airport to the castle. As you approach the foggy, gray area that surrounds the castle, you are surprised to see the hole that you and Melvin had made has been repaired. Still carrying the Starstone, you walk around to the front of the castle, whose vast door is shut tight. You jump when you hear someone shout “Who goes there?” from the castle wall. Looking up, there is a guard, wearing a red uniform with a red hat, and red plume. You squint up at him. “Charlie Hustle? Is that you?”

“Player!” he shouts back. “Welcome back! Is that the Starstone?”

“You bet it’s the Starstone!” shouts Melvin. “So, let us in already!”

“You bet I will!” He disappears down some stairs, and then with a vast squeaking, the door lowers over the moat, and the portcullis raises. When the door thumps down, Charlie is standing on the other side. “Come in, Player, come in!” he urges. You and Melvin walk through the entry hall of the castle, and you are surprised to see a distinct lack of rubble.

“Who cleaned all this up?” asks Melvin, as you walk.

Charlie is excited. “I’ve been working hard at it. I’ve tried to get others to help, but… no one remembers. But thanks to your help, I do. I know what a debt I owe to the Queen, to the entire kingdom.”

You arrive in the throne room, and are glad to see that, though things are gray, much has been cleaned up and repaired. You realize that some of the broken stone carvings in the throne room seem to be some kind of seating, presumably for visiting guests. Charlie announces you: “May I present, the Player and Melvin, who bring a welcome gift.”

The Queen stares at what you are holding with anticipation. “Did you really get it back?” she says, breathlessly.

“You bet we did!” says Melvin, and you kneel and present it to her.

She stares into its depths, hypnotized. “How… could I have ever forgotten it was so… beautiful?” In the gray murk of the castle, its rainbow flame is dimmed, but still, its colors and luster shine. She reaches out for it with tears in her eyes, and gently lifts it in her ebony hands. Electricity crackles from the globe to her fingers, and tears start to run down her face. “Now that I remember what happened, I am so ashamed of myself. It was one of the last treasures to disappear, because we all knew the consequences if anyone managed to steal it and take it to Solaris.” She stares deep into it. “But by that time, so many treasures had gone, I had forgotten the danger, and when the Zylons attacked, I didn’t even realize they had taken it. I almost doomed us all.” She looks at you now. “But you two saved us. We owe you a tremendous debt of gratitude.” She releases the sphere, and it floats up above her to a central alcove on the wall behind her throne. As it takes its place, a “3/26” flashes in the air overhead, and there is a temporary pulse of color. You see her eyes have already begun to compute. “I must process these memories. Please help me, if you can.”

Suddenly her eyes emit a cross made of five rectangles in a hologram, much like a game you played with her once before. A musical note plays, and a number appears. You stare at it confused.

Melvin whispers, “This is like that Touch Me game you played before, you know, like Simon, but this time with numbers.”

“Oh,” you say. “That’s not so bad. Maybe I should write the numbers down?”

Melvin shakes his head, not that he has a head. “No… that would be cheating. You must use your memory if the Queen is to integrate her new memories properly.”

“Okay,” you sigh. “I’ll do my best. This sure beats fighting Krylons!”

“Zylons,” Melvin corrects you.

Place the Brain Games cartridge into your Atari 2600. Use game select 5, and set the left difficulty switch to b. Play until you get a score of 20. Post a link to a video in the comments section of yourself completing the challenge.